So get used to it, all you “cool aunts” out there. It’s time to start shaving those legs again.
I got this idea from an assignment in a journalism class. An article written in 1998 and published in TIME magazine that year by Gina Bellafonte bemoans the loss of the feminism of yesteryear.
“OH, why is it all about sexual empowerment instead of real issues like child care and equal wages?” Is what I imagine her saying as she weeps every night over her copy of The Feminine Mystique.
Get with the fucking program woman. Stop sobbing over the past and join us in the 21st century. For starters, trade that tired old rag in for the newer Feminism is for Everybody by bell hooks. Or better yet, The Ethical Slut. That one’s a fun and hilarious romp, even if it’s not strictly about women. You want to know why feminism has become centered around sex? I’ll tell you why.
It’s because while not all women have children, and not all women want to be high powered execs, every single woman on this planet is born with a vagina (or a desire for a vagina, I’m inclusive). And every woman in America has a very serious negative reaction to talking about her body, looking at her body, being okay with…guess what? Her body. And so trying to encourage women to love their body, make their body feel good, and to be okay with being sexy IS a feminist issue.
Some women will say that if you’re promiscuous, if you show too much skin on a daily basis, you’re not a real feminist.
I hate.
Hate.
Hate.
Hate HATE women who will tell someone they aren’t a feminist.
Fuck you, bitch, I so am. She so is. And even you so are, if you say you are.
- Just because I like it when a guy pulls out my chair, opens my door, does “man chores,” or pays for dinner doesn’t mean that I’m contributing to the oppression of my sex.
- Just because I wear tops that my boobs are falling out of and a skirt that leaves little to the imagination to go out sometimes doesn’t mean that I’m demeaning myself.
- Just because I hold traditionally female jobs, such as babysitter and librarian doesn’t mean that I’m letting men climb higher than me on the ladder.
- It means that I like to feel like someone cares about me, is willing to do things for me, and wants to take care of me.
- It means that I want to feel sexy sometimes, my boobs are my greatest asset in my opinion, and damn it they deserve a breath of fresh air. Plus, if I can’t show off my upper-thigh tattoo, then what’s the point?
- It means that I like children and books, and that I if I had to sit in an office all day or hold their lives in my hand on a regular basis I’d shoot myself in the head within a year.
It means that I’m being me.
And for that matter, how is feminism served by women turning into men? I mean, some women think that feminism means dressing in clothes that turn you into a genderless blob. And then there are the women who start to smoke cigars, go on sports outings, and refuse to wear skirts to the office. Now, if you want to do all that, then go for it! But if you actually are terrified of getting lung cancer, hate baseball, and like to feel the cool breeze on your bikini bottoms, then what the fuck. You’re oppressing your own personality, and not doing anyone any good.
I’m not overly girly, I rarely wear make up, I prefer grilling outdoors to making a fancy four-course meal, and I would much rather watch the Red Sox than Bridezillas. But I enjoy many other girly activities, such as shopping for hours, having afternoon tea, and criticizing Heidi Klum’s outfit on Project Runway. So what does that mean?
Am I a traitor? The Benedict Arnold of feminism? I think not.
There are a lot of good things about this change that I think both sides can agree are benefits of the feminist movement becoming more widespread.
- I doubt that in the 70s movement, there would have been many if any men walking around with the feminist symbol tattooed on their bodies. But I know two. I also know feminists who would say that you have to be a woman to be a feminist, which just isn’t true.
- Girls are growing up today with an education in women’s history. It’s not all told by the men anymore, it’s about the women, too. Elizabeth, Margaret Thatcher, and Bloody Mary are getting more and more attention these days. At home, we have fewer options, but we’re still a young country. Give us time. For now we’ll just have to make do with Ruth Vader Ginsburg, Hillary Clinton, and Kay Bailey Hutchison (can you tell where I grew up?).
- The female condom rocked my world when I actually saw one. Not necessarily in a good way. But despite the fact that having sex with one of those would sound like doin’ it with a recyclable WalMart bag, it’s good that women have the option of protecting themselves without relying on a man to cage the monkey.
So feminism has changed. I’m down with it. Everyone who considers themselves a feminist is welcome to be one, in my book. We all have our different definitions of good and bad, hot and not, why can’t we have different definitions of feminism?
Because feminism has changed, like it or not.
